A painful Ontsby night

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This text was Radam Smetenskij's short story assignment and was sent to Curse-Tin at 2011-06-15 06:04. He has tried to cover up this document, but the truth has to come out and so I'll post this here. I will however remain anonymous, for fear of my life. Anonymous 15 september 2012 kl. 22.34 (CEST)
Lying anon piece of shit, I've never written this! It's a fraud! Radamus Smetonius 15 september 2012 kl. 22.49 (CEST)

Dr. Pain opened the door to the Red temple. The stench had become more intense the last few meters, and erupted into a horrible sticking smell in his nostrils when the door opened. He looked around the temple interior, searching for the source of the stench. The temple was filled with empty benches, a white marble altar stood on an elevated end of the room, and behind the altar was a giant picture of the Big Boss. Pain walked through the benches and up on the elevated area, up to the picture.
Then he saw them. Five dodo carcasses, with feathers spread around them. Dr. Pain let out a scream.

15 minutes later, he was talking to police officer Aydius Smetonius.
“And that’s all that you remember from tonight, Doctor Pain?”
“Yes, Mr Smetonius.”
“We’ll seal off the temple and start the investigation right away. Go home and sleep, Mr Pain. We will catch this murderer, I assure you.”
Dr. Pain took Aydius’ advice and went home just as two officers left the scene.

Back home, Pain couldn’t sleep. The images of desecrated dodos still haunted him. Pain tried to shake the memory by relocating his thoughts from the dodos to officer Smetonius. He was a good man, that surely would do everything he could to catch this murderer... or would he? He had sent Dr. Pain home very quickly... almost as if he didn’t want him there. What if he was about to remove evidence from the crime scene... evidence that pointed towards himself? No, that would be very improbable. But he did see two officers leave the scene at the same time he did, was it possible that Smetonius now was alone at the crime scene? Pain couldn’t endure the thought of Smetonius possibly murdering the dodos, then sweeping the evidence under the mat. He got dressed and went back to the Red temple.

The temple was empty of police, and since it lacked doors Pain just had to climb over the police barrier to get inside. He wandered around in the temple, looking for anything amiss. Then he noticed that the garden fork that was normally found in the entrance were gone. Pain was certain that he had seen the fork earlier this morning, when he had come here to praise the Big Boss, as well as when he was here for the evening praise. Smetonius must’ve killed the dodos using the fork, and then put it back. And under the cover of the following police investigation, he had been able to destroy the evidence without anyone suspecting it was him. Pain was not about to let Smetonius get away with this. He fought for the sake of the dodos now; for their memory.

The clock was 4 in the morning when Pain arrived at Smetonius house in the outskirts of Ontsby. The house was dark and silent – just like Pain would expect the house of a murderer to be. Pain walked certainly across the road through the garden, his mind determined to bring justice. When he reached the door, he violently kicked it in. He walked through the entrance into the doorpost of a hallway, where a staircase led to the upper floor. It only took about 10 seconds for the fully clothed Smetonius to appear. In his hands he held a gun, pointed at Smetonius.
“I have been expecting you. I was just examining the murder weapon upstairs.”
“You will pay for what you did today”, answered Dr. Pain.
“I’m not so sure about that – you’re going to jail.”
Pain was surprised at Smetonius’ act of innocence, and he felt his pulse rise along with his anger.
“You will not get away with this, madman. The five holy birds will be avenged!”
“You’re the one who’s mad, Pain. All evidence points to you. And this little incident does nothing to help prove your innocence.”
“Spare me the bullshit, Smetonius! We both know very well that you killed the birds! And now you’re using your status as a police to cover it up! You’re nothing but a murderous coward! Tell me; why did you do it? What had you to gain from killing them? Some sort of sadistic satisfaction? Or did west pay you? How much? How much for selling your soul, whore?”
“I have a better question, Mr Pain. What did you do around lunchtime today?”
“Why are you...”
“Just answer the question.”
“I... I went by the temple.” Pain tried to remember. “I... did some gardening? Where is this supposed to go, Smetonius? What am I supposed to...”
Then Pain remembered.

After a few seconds of silence, Smetonius commanded:
“Hands in the air.”
He walked down to Pain who now stood frozen in the doorpost. His gun was fixed at Pain’s torso, who didn’t move. “I said hands up!”
Pain fell to the side, seemingly out of shock. He quickly regained balance after stretching out his hand for stability – and more. When he straightened and turned towards Smetonius, the two exchanged a stare for half a second. Then he brought the meat cleaver down with all the force he could. It cut deep into Smetonius’ left shoulder while he screamed. The pistol fired a bullet that missed Pain by a decimeter and went into the wall. Smetonius fell to the floor before Pain slashed down again, this time severing the arm completely. Blood poured out on the wall and the floor, coloring it red.
Pain grabbed the severed arm by the wrist and started bashing Smetonius, who gasped for air. “I ain’t done nothing!”
He struck harder with each swing, rotating through right swings and left swings.
“I used the fork on some particularly stubborn soil, and that’s it!”
Pain now pounded on the officer with the stump as violently as he could, quickly turning the once handsome face into a bloody and unrecognizable mess. Smetonius stopped breathing.
“I have never hurt any dodos, you lying murderous filth!”

He stopped the beating. He was breathing heavily, and sweat was running down his forehead. He noticed that the severed bone on the end of the arm was pointy, which made him take a steady hold of the arm, and then stab it into Smetonius’ heart. Even more blood started running down his blue shirt. There he sat, on the floor with his back against the wall, and his left arm impaled into his chest. A fitting end for a liar and a murderer, as far as Dr. Pain was concerned. But no one would believe him. The world out there were probably as nuts as Smetonius, and Pain wasn’t about to be captured by them. He hastened out of the house and disappeared into the deep forest.


"What a twist!" -M. Night Shyamalan

"We strongly oppose all forms of entertainment media in which animals are hurt in any manner [...]" -PETA

"Interesting fanfic you got going there, Smetenskij! I look forward to discussing this 'hilarious' story about me on the Party meeting next monday." -Dr. Pain

"I can't see the plot for all the holes. Besides, what's with the- *PLING* OH, THE PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE" -Harry S. Plinkett